


Louis Tomlinson

by uselessgaydolphin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Implied Relationships, Insecurity, Love Poems, M/M, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25644589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uselessgaydolphin/pseuds/uselessgaydolphin
Summary: Harry writes 'Falling' but it is Louis who falls into a spiral of insecurities.characters are not mentioned, just implied. based on my story with a girl I called my Hazza. shitty poem, please don't judge.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 9





	Louis Tomlinson

**"and I'm well aware I write too many songs about you"**

  
for someone who knows  
how important words are  
I have used up all of mine for you  
I try  
I try real hard to do what the kids these days do  
to "get a chill"  
but then I get stuck in my own head  
and picture you in someone else's arms  
all I have then, love  
is shivers down my spine  
and a crippling sense of numbness that consumes me  
that makes me want to  
stick my head in ovens  
cut my ears off  
or ask a clown to swing me by my heels  
_(but you already know, don't you?_  
_I'll die a superstar's death)_

  
I will not tell people that I invested a lot, here  
I had almost nothing to start with  
I was on the run from lands I saw people couldn't defend  
I didn't even know  
that I was seeking refuge till you brought me home  
I didn't know  
and now,  
I think I do.

  
I've made my fair share of mistakes.  
and one of these days,  
I'll miss my mark  
and the arrow will ricochet back to me.  
I'll probably be too inebriated  
(again)  
to even ask for help.  
I don't fear the dark-  
I fear the unkown;  
the uncertainty that comes with ignorance  
and believing in too much poetry and John Green quotes.  
every day that I wake up  
I hate not knowing if you're still in love  
with me.  
I go to bed when the church bells sound outside my window  
desperately trying to drown out the voices that keep telling me you could do better  
_(who'd want a silly pond heron over nightingales and ravens?_ )  
I prefer Coleridge's state of existence  
way out of this world– somewhere that consists only of my deepest desires and no regrets of what the past made me do–  
only of you.

  
I'm scared, love  
too scared to know that  
I'm not the only one waxing lyrical about you.  
that someday,  
I'll be too blazed  
and not have our space-cave to go back into.  
that all these demons you've been warding off from me  
will come back with a vengeance,  
and I will not even want to battle it out.

  
I think I've already told you this  
_(drunk, sober, baked)_  
but I'm here because of you  
in more ways than one  
( _I want to say something that doesn't sound insane,_  
_but lately? I don't trust my brain)_  
like you, Hazza,  
I'll have no one to blame but _"the drink in my wandering hands"_  
when I don't have fingers caressing me to sleep, anymore.

  
I've seen it all-  
people falling in and out of love,  
and in love back again.  
December nights have been the most difficult for me-  
instead of fireplaces keeping me warm  
my insecurities burn me from the inside.  
the deeper we go,  
the safer I feel-  
I've dived in headfirst without life jackets and without knowing how to swim.  
but, God, I know I'll follow you to Atlantis  
and anywhere you want me to go.  
  



End file.
